Chapter Three


Sunny pokes her head through the open glitchdoor.




She steps back and talks to Jasper.

Sunny
* It heads to, what, Fiji?

Jasper
* No, it's... it's Hollidae!
* The island from the game I've been playing recently! Love Bomb?
* It's that anime-style one, I think I told you about it a couple weeks back. The RPG.

Sunny
* Aw yeh, I half-remember that.
* Or maybe two-fifths.
* Was that any good, by the way?

Jasper
* Well, I like it. It's not for everyone, y'know, but I get a lot of joy out of it.
* BUT ANYWAY
* It's just... there now!! Through that door!!! It's where that elf came from!

Sunny
* You bought one a those haunted fuckin' game cartridges didn't you?
* Got caught in some Herobrine shit?

Jasper
* I... I guess?
* I can't think of any explanation for this besides some kind of haunting. And yet...

Jasper inspects the door. Sunny folds her arms bitterly and looks off to the side.

Jasper
* ...I've never heard of a ghost doing something like this before...

Sunny
* Great, so it's totally unprecedented.
* That's a good fuckin' omen...

Sunny regains her resolve.

Sunny
* So. What's the plan? How we getting your old man back?

Jasper
* You're going to help?
* I thought you didn't like my dad.

Sunny
* I don't like your dad, Jazza. Doesn't mean I want him stuck in a fuckin' bocce ball for all eternity.

Jasper
* ...Okay! Then the plan is pretty simple, right?
* There's gotta be a bunch of elf girls in there, just like Casandra.
* And from what we saw of her, she's acting just like she did in the game, so she's not, like, being controlled by the haunting or something.

Jasper smiles cheerfully, as he explains the plan. Sunny is intrigued!

Jasper
* So... we just gotta get in there and debate my Dad back.

Sunny
* Now you're talkin' my language!
* Those willowy little twits won't last five seconds against the undefeated champions of the New South Wales debating league!
* Let's go round up Moonsy, ay? Get the whole gang together!

Jasper
* Ahhaaa... actually, you're gonna have to go in on your own.

Sunny
* What.

Jasper
* Look, look, listen. The way the island works is, there's only one boy on there, right? It's Jiro. Just him.
* Everyone else on the island is a girl. And all the girls, like, compete for his affections...

Sunny
* Jazza did I ever tell you you have dogshit taste

Jasper
* The point is--

Jasper gets visibly anxious as he starts to unspool, ranting perhaps a little too intensely.

Jasper
* If, if I go in there, I'm a boy, it's-- it's not gonna work! I'll be, like, an invasive species there, we'll upend the whole dynamic--!

Sunny
* Are you shitting me?
* You want me to walk straight into the plot of a mid-tier reddit creepypasta by myself!?

Jasper
* Sunny, you have to trust me, I can't join you. I'd-- just being there would complicate things so much-- I won't belong there, it'll ruin the whole thing, I'll stick out so much--

Jasper stops. He has realised.

Jasper
* Unless--!

















Sitara answers her door.

Sitara
* Oh hey guys... what's up?

Jasper
* Sitara!!!

Jasper stands proudly at her doorstep, with Sunny standing behind him with a knowing little smirk.

Jasper
* We need you to make me a girl!